


Wind flower

by WritingforTheAvengers



Category: Avengers, Clint Barton - Fandom, Hawkeye - Fandom, Marvel
Genre: F/M, Fluffy, Kpop inspired song, Mamamoo song, angsty, everything in between
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 22:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18303158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: Get better day by day, get better day by day.





	Wind flower

You closed the door behind you, and a strange heaviness took over you. You walked away from Clint’s apartment block and, though it was a mid-spring evening, you were feeling rather cold; you two had just broken up and a bitter feeling lingered in your mouth. It was uncomfortable and unsettling.

You wanted to go back and tell him you still loved him, which was true, but you were too far away now. You had walked fast and warmed up in the process. You wondered why you hadn’t been nicer to him; telling him that he was the best thing you’d had wasn’t really hard. Communication wasn’t really the problem, it was you all along. Now that you lost your chance to say those words you were regretting it, but you sighed heavily as if it helped make the thoughts go away with your breath.

You walked to your apartment, which was not really far, and in there you found your not-so-long-time friend and even shorter-time roommate Bucky. He knew you enough to understand you were not feeling alright. You were thankful to have kept your place; it was like a safe haven for you. Especially now that you and Clint didn’t live together anymore.

“It happened, right?” He asked. You nodded in silence. “What are you feeling? It seems a bit silly to ask _how_ are you feeling… so spit it out.”

“I just feel heavy,” you rubbed your chest. “I wanted to go back and kiss him again and tell him all the things I didn’t tell him but it didn’t seem alright,” you tugged at your bottom lip. “I just…” you sighed heavily. “I don’t know—I love Barton. I’ve loved him for a very long time but I suppose things worn out,” you shrugged. “He’ll always have his own place in my heart… I’ll get better, with time.”

“Do you wanna stop feeling sorry for yourself and have fun instead?” Bucky offered. “We can order some food and I’ll go buy some more booze,” he emphasized the word _more_ and you didn’t understand why.

“We have enough booze already,” you cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t see why we need more.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna be talking about Barton all night and I’m gonna need to forget I ever heard all that,” he shrugged carelessly. “You’re my friend and all that but that’s way too much for me. I’ll be back in a minute, meanwhile order some Thai,” he grabbed his keys, some cash and then left you.

You would get better, you knew that much. You just needed some time to heal, and you would start by getting a long bath with salts, candles, a good cry and shit like that.

Barton and you kept bumping into each other, since you kind of avenged too. It wasn’t like a regular thing, but the more you saw him, the less it hurt. You went from polite coldness to actually caring about how he was. He had lost some weight, and so did you—apparently. He mentioned it once. He also mentioned that you looked pretty in more than one occasion. It gave you chills, but it was the good kind of chills.

But all the good chills ended when you were alone at home. Bucky could be gone for days, even weeks, and you allowed yourself to be a good old mess. Well, it wasn’t like you gave yourself permission to do that, it just happened. You could be doing anything, even peeing, and a wave of sadness took over and it just paralyzed you from head to toe.

One day, your phone took you out of your lethargy and as you walked towards it, you dried the tears from your cheeks and tried to breathe normally again. You looked at the screen and saw Clint’s number. You didn’t have it saved anymore, but it had not changed at all.

“Yes?” You tried to talk in your calmest voice. “What’s up?”

“ _How did you know it was me?_ ” He asked. “ _Do you keep my phone—are you okay?_ ”

“Uhh—yeah,” you shook your head. “Why do you ask?”

“ _We were together for six years, (Y/N)_ ” he scoffed, “ _I can tell you’re bullshitting me, even when you’re through the phone. Are you at home? I was taking a walk and I’m right outside here._ ”

“Clint, sweetheart—you don’t wanna see me like this.”

 _“Don’t be silly, I’ve seen you sick and menstruating the shit out of your uterus—it doesn’t get any worse or messier than that. Come on, I bought some food_ ,” he hung up and a few minutes later he was knocking on your door. You were a mess, but he was right. He had seen you in worse states than just puffy-eyed and with chocolate ice cream dried around your lips. You opened the door, quite reluctantly, but did it anyways. “This is fine,” he nodded and made himself at home.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed heavily as you closed the door. “Why the sudden urge to see me and talk to me?”

“Oh baby, it wasn’t sudden,” he chuckled as he fell down on your couch. He had the tendency to get all comfortable really quick. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while—I just didn’t have the balls. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to call you or talk to you? Anyway, it doesn’t matter, I’m here now. How have you been holding up?”

“Do you really need to ask?” You extended your arms, showing off your official break up attire. “Do I have to explain my dirty shirt, my unwashed hair and the red eyes? Do I?”

“Not really,” he shook his head quickly. “I’ve missed you—it feels a bit lonely being at home by myself, or not having you around in missions.”

“I wish I could say it gets easier, but it hasn’t,” you sat next to him and placed a hand on his knee. “I have been crying for like three days straight this time around. It’s lucky that James’s not here, I cannot bear to explain myself to him… I don’t have to explain myself to you, at least,” you looked at him and smiled. “Thanks for that, I suppose… How have you been holding up?”

“I have never been worse in my whole goddamned life,” he laughed heartedly. “It sucks being without you—do you wanna know what I miss the most about you? It’s not sex—I mean, yeah it is, but I miss just being around you. Waking up to your open, drooling mouth, your messy hair…,” you shook your head and chuckled breathily. “Or seeing you make lunch—that was heaven,” he hummed in delight. “Honestly, just seeing you do normal stuff was my thing—I loved you, (Y/N),” he said; it wasn’t even a confession, he was just saying it like he had said a hundred times. “I still do, but you know what I mean.”

“I love you too, Barton,” you smiled lightly. “I think I said this to Barnes, but you’ll always be in my heart and you have your own place in it. You’re the love of my life, Clint,” you looked at him and gulped. “If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be all crummy,” you leaned your head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry for not trying to save us.”

“I didn’t try either,” he placed a soft kiss on your hair. “But I think we’re doing just fine.”

He stayed with you all night. Nothing sexual, just two old friends talking, drinking eating, and at times, kissing. You were ready to let him go in that way, but you knew Clint Barton was going to stay forever in your life. You would get better, you were sure of it. When you closed the door after he left, it didn’t hurt as much.

You were in bloom.


End file.
